The Courage to Trust in Memory

Your stories of courage continue.

Here’s the second of your submissions from last month’s request for essays on courage from readers. To examine courage from more perspectives, I asked for short essays on readers’ most courageous moments, and am offering two iPod nanos as prizes—the first to the winner of the essay contest and the second to a random commenter.

The first entry was from Michael Shepherd. Here’s the second.

Tina Hillson

My most courageous moment has to have been bringing myself to tell my mother that it was ok to die.

It was June 2007, and I was pregnant at the time. I had gone back to my hometown with my sister when our brother had told us that our mother had become critically ill and was not expected to live. Despite being in the end stage of ovarian cancer, the first thing that my mother did when I entered her hospital room was to look at my swelling belly and declare “I’m going to be around to see that little thing”. Within hours she could no longer speak; but for the next couple of days she hung on, still trying to fight.

Finally, my sister and I each told her in English and in German (her native tongue) that it was ok to die. I told her that I would keep her memory alive, so that her granddaughter would know her, and that we would all be ok. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Within two hours, with all of her children and their spouses at her bedside, my precious mother died. …And for the first time, I felt my baby move. I knew then that I would also have the courage to go on. My mother’s memory remains very much alive. My daughter was born five months later to the day, a beautiful little chip of my sunny mother, and every day I see my mother in her smile.

Can you relate to Tina’s story? Comment below to enter your name in the contest, and, if her words move you, send your own essay on courage to me at lauradisilverio AT

Published by


Author of the Swift Investigations, Mall Cop, and Readaholics mystery series. Ex-Air Force intelligence officer, now a full-time writer. Spying was easier.

2 thoughts on “The Courage to Trust in Memory”

  1. Comment
    It takes a tremendous amount of courage to tell a love one it’s okay to die. When my father was in the hospice, my husband told him not to be afraid, that it was all right to die, but not me. I was afraid to say such words of finality. I regret my cowardliness. I admire your bravery.

  2. More people need to hear the words, ITS OKAY TO DIE, when it’s clearly time for them to be out of the pain they are in. It’s never a good thing to have to go through this but is sometimes necessary.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *